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January 26, 2011 - Governor Apologizes to Non-Christians - University of Alabama Claims 2010 BCS Title

November 24, 2010 - Osama Bin Laden Sports Cam Newton Jersey in New Video

May 19, 2010 - Pot of Gold Found at Old Courtney's Site - Chick-Fil-A Insists Drive Thru Part Of Corporate Character - Crocker Tired of Being Mistaken for Hobbs

January 13, 2010 - Federal Redistricting Plan To Include First Majority Light-skinned Black District - Thousands of Tide Fans Line Up to Witness Bleeding Saban Statue - Future Superintendent Qualifications May Include Experience, Literacy

November 25, 2009 - Mayan Calendar Shows Fifteen Mayoral Candidates - Fourth Mayor In 40 Days Will Set Record - Gus Malzahn Linked To Auburn Head Coaching Job

October 21, 2009 - More Details Of LaPierre Plea Agreement Surface During Langford Trial - Analysis: The Cycle of Stupidity - LSU Prepares For 'Trap' Game Versus Auburn

January 21, 2009 - Inauguration Blast Draws Millions To Birmingham - Yirgacheffe Reinvigorates Revitalization Efforts - Cullman Times Milks Trackhoe Incident For Fourth Straight Week

December 10, 2008 - Turner Gill Accepts AU Head Coach Position Via Phone - Langford proposes White Collar Resort Prison on Trinity Site - Tiny Banners, Discount Stores To Revitalize North Birmingham - Rumsfeld To Coach Tigers

November 26, 2008 - 'The First 48' Decides to Film Entire Season in Birmingham - Fed, SEC Determine Langford's Ego Too Big to Fail - Gilchrist To Bring Planning, Permitting Successes To Atlanta

September 3, 2008 - Local Marvel Universe Expert Disputes Forbes Power Ranking - Auburn QB Controversy to be Decided in Thunderdome - Tigers for Tomorrow Hopes to Keep Team Strong, Population Safe

August 27, 2008 - SRI Buys Quinlan Castle As Hedge Against Economic Turmoil - '106.9 the Eagle' Still New After Three Years - Langford Proposes School for Castrati

July 23, 2008 - Birmingham Set To Host 1928 Olympics - Energy Mayonnaise Fueling Olympic Hopefuls - Birmingham Olympics to be Site of Several Demonstration Sports

June 18, 2008 - Local Woman To Downsize SUV - Langford Changes Name To Lil' Bama - Scrushy Prefers Texas Ass Pounding

April 30, 2008 - God Sets Date for Destruction of Birmingham - Paige King Anxious for Executions to Resume - ADEM Airplane May Contribute To Drought

April 9, 2008 - Langford Seeks To Avoid 'Burlap Gap' - Strange Spot On I-65 Causes Traffic Slowdowns - Rare Martini Introduces New Drink

March 26, 2008 - Katopodis Pulls Out - Louisville - Boise State To Be Replayed - Trivia Quiz Master Too Cool For School

October 24, 2007 - Council, Mayor-Elect Say Civic Pride Trumps Petty Differences - Propst to Star in 'Rush of Love' - Local Merchants Court Whole Foods' Customers

May 16, 2007 - 'Liv on Fifth' Misses LEED Mark - Al.com Facing Age Discrimination Charges From Birmingham Area Centenarians - Virtual Housing Starts Decline

March 14, 2007 - Vision of Saint Seen in Southside Cheesesteak - Board Opts For Half-Dome

November 22, 2006 - Rumsfeld To Coach Tide - ONB Poised To Exploit Next Big Trend

August 16, 2006 - 'Future Parking' Style of Architecture Grabs Space in Birmingham - Second Building in UAB's Shelby Biomedical Complex to be Constructed Entirely of Pork - Gay Tourism In Upswing After Referendum

April 26, 2006 - Black & White Publisher's Wish Comes True - 1995 Seen Clearly Following Schaeffer LaserVision - LaCrosse Fields Dropped From Railroad Reservation Plan

March 29, 2006 - 205 Flava inks deal with Idol star Hicks - Local Man Gets MySpace Account - Tarrant Man Puts Off Lawnmower Purchase

March 8, 2006 - Open Mike Night At Storage Facility Generates Mixed Reviews, Controversy - Caldwell Park's 'The Fence' to Close this Weekend - Tree Summit Results In Conflicting Roadmaps

February 8, 2006 - Local Man Makes Quick Stop For Valentine Condoms - Educational Sweepstakes Video Attracts Cirque, Other Forbidden Pleasures - Hoover Historical Society Releases First Book

January 25, 2006 - Rogers Introduces Bill to Force Council to Approve Barber Condos - Mike Hale Confiscates Avondale Library Computers - Scrushy Denies any Arrangement with Henderson

December 21, 2005 - Sybil Temple Reopens for Saturnalia

November 30, 2005 - Additional Lanes on Highway 280 for 'Bama Fans Only - The Ghost of Johnnie Cochran to Join Irvin Defense Team - Council Dais Retrofitted for New Councilors

November 2, 2005 - Richard Scrushy Consumes Jason Hervey In Consensual Man-Feast - Judge Roy Moore Calls Alito 'Pinko Lefty Non-God Fearing Communist' - Local Man Survives Extended Succubus Attack

September 14, 2005 - Starbucks To Teach Lucy's A Lesson - Tide Celebrates Victory Over Homeless, Starving Opponent - Mayor Includes 'Economizing Tips' With Overdue Payments to MAX

August 3, 2005 - Shelby County Re-Starts Visioning Process - Summit To Address Dressy Casual Problem - Jury Apparently Unconvinced of Sky Color

June 29, 2005 - Equal Justice Initiative Credited For Scrushy Victory - Local Man Breaks 20 Year Old Fishing Record - Outbreak Of Condomania Grips City In Fear

May 11, 2005 - Road Cut Re-Interpreted - Peas Go Home! - Kincaid Says Economic Development Plan All In Head

April 6, 2005 - Mt. Laurel Named America's Most Authentic Community - Desperate Housewife Angered By 'Severe Weather' Coverage - Kincaid Unleashes New Fragrance

March 2, 2005 - Marshall Co. Sheriff Issues Gaydar to Deputies - Church's-Bottega Opens In Hope VI Community - Arkestra Resting Place Discovered On Titan

February 2, 2005 - NEW STREETCARS TO BE RACIALLY CHARGED - MTN BROOK HIGH SCHOOL CELEBRATES BLACK HISTORY - MORNING COMMUTE DELAYED BY REVERSE PROFILING - ALABASTER TO SHOW RACIAL SOLIDARITY

January 19, 2005 - KRISPY KREME CHANGES NAME TO HöLE FOODS - 'NEWS OF THE WEIRD' OPENS LOCAL BUREAU - OIL SLICK LOOKS LIKE DALE EARNHARDT

December 15, 2004 - EASTWOOD MALL SANTA VOWS TO PERSEVERE - LANGFORD STEALS CHRISTMAS! - FURNACE HOSTS TOYS FOR TA-TAS

November 17, 2004 - UAB Prof Calculates Economic Impact of Iron Bowl at $17.50 - Namath Urges Croyle to Attempt 'Sexual Healing' - Shula Admits Bryant Cola Reserves Are Dangerously Low

November 3, 2004 - Jesus Hands Out Voter Guides in St. Clair County - David Allan Coe Sings 'N***** F*****!' Over Amendment Two Defeat - Broad Coalition Spurs Defeat Of Amendment Four - Parker Orders Creation Of Quilted Constitution

October 20, 2004 - Vestavia Teens Dead: Richard Scrushy's 'Viewpoint' Thought Responsible - Rube Burrow's Site Contains Ancient Indian Burial Ground - Sexy Teens Murdered At Camp

September 29, 2004 - 'Magic City' Brand Duct Tape Showcased at Legion Field - Pickwick Hallway Smells Like Urine - Area Teen Beheaded for Possession of Mystery Drug

August 18, 2004 - Chamber of Commerce Plans Worldwide 'Birmingham Awareness Day' Campaign - MAX Honors 500th Rider - Historic Marker Achieves Historic Status

July 21, 2004 - Advent Cathedral Announces Nomination of Big Gay Dean - Crestwood Celebrates Fifth Annual Gay Pride Home Parade - Cox-Arquette Baby Reportedly Has One Head

June 9, 2004 - HealthSouth to Partner with Just for Feet on Range of Projects - Arch-Conservative Too Liberal For Alabama - Mazer's Selling Day Old Chick-Fil-A On Sundays

April 14, 2004 - Gwen Sykes to Hire Non-Pervert - Southside Blight Barrier Nears Completion - Hueytown Passes Marriage Definition Ordinance

March 24, 2004 - Oak Mountain Invites Postal Workers to Thin Deer Herds - Eye of Sloss Settles on Woodlawn - Time Of Whites Has Ended

March 3, 2004 - City, ONB celebrate 100th Master Plan - King of Rohan to Coach Tide - Railroad Reservation To Offer Casino Gambling

December 10, 2003 - Female Form Declared Too Sexy - SouthTown Holds Annual Lighting Ceremony - Kinkade Shares Vision for Revitalized Birmingham

November 12, 2003 - This Year's Iron Bowl Doesn't Matter - Early Warning System Fails To Detect Leakage, Zombies - Carrier of the Year Recipient Dines With Victor Hanson - Scary Clown Haunts Old McDonald House

October 8, 2003 - Mountain Brook Library To Add White Guilt Section - Bear Shrine Violations on the Rise, Ethnic Restaurants Major Target - Alabama School of Fine Arts Shifts to Test-Prep Curriculum

September 17, 2003 - 'Black Eye for the Queer Guy' Premieres On SJC - UA Hires Nine New Coaches - Local Man Upset To Learn 'Firebird Suite' Not About His Car

August 27, 2003 - Judge Roy Moore Suspended Over Commandments Monument - Alabama Voters Set to Decide on Third World Status - Operation Orange Fence Addresses Derelict Property Problem

July 16, 2003 - Mazer's To Offer Landlord Variety Grab Bag - 'Bath Party' Ousted - Highway Literacy Campaign Deemed a Failure: Electronic Signs Removed After Brief Trial

July 2, 2003 - Vulcan's Orientation Corrected - Liberty Park Plans to Become Nation's First 'Moated Community' - 'Capitol Steps' Promo Causes Acapellitis - Whisky Tango Missing One Pretty Person

June 18, 2003 - Wall Street Deli Creates Sandwich For "American Idol" Champ - Jesse Jackson Protests Lack of African Americans in NASCAR - Howell Raines Accepts Position With The Birminghamster - Birmingham Named America's Lunchingest Town

June 3, 2003 - Buffalo Rock 'Golden Ginger Ale' Delicious, Refreshing, Unique! - Indian Springs School Actually Mutant Training Facility - $400 Million For Education Found In Sofa

May 7, 2003 - Bear-O-Meter Provides Early Warning System for Tide Trustees - Pre-Dawn Rumble Was Meth Lab Explosion - Jason Hervey To Stay In Birmingham

April 16, 2003 - Vulcan Worshippers Await Fire God's Return to Sacred Mountaintop - Dallas County Line Plays Farewell Concert from Temporary Roof of Digital Hospital

December 18, 2002 - Secular Christmas Music More Popular This Year - Riley Proud to be Lesser of Two Evils, Maybe - UA Trustees Suspend Head Coach Position Pending Outcome Of Clone Project - Dart Trolley to Stop at Neighborhood of Make-Believe

November 20, 2002 - It Can't Be Iron Bowl Weekend Already Goddammit - UAB Offers to Play Winner of Iron Bowl for State Championship - Crimson Tide to Retire Gump's #44 at Halftime Ceremony - For Tiger Victory, David Housel To Swear Off Fatty Foods

September 18, 2002 - 'Hamster Thwarted In Parody Attempt - Alan Hunter Admits Can't Stand Own Self - Sidewalk Film Confuses Unsophisticated Audiences

August 7, 2002 - Dubose To Pursue Career Placing Tiny Classified Ads - Bill Byrd Kia To Offer Title Pawn - Giant Corporation Sues Siegelman

July 24, 2002 - UAB Researchers Develop 100% Outside Meat Pig - 21st Street Viaduct Tapped for Preservation Award - Vagina Monologues Come For Second Time

June 12, 2002 - Cox, Barkley Hope More Birminghamsters Earn Fame, Deflect Attention - Tide Reportedly Not to Pay Any Recruits in 2002 - Tornadic Activity Spurs Reascendancy Of White Males

May 15, 2002 - City Stages Special - McMillan Says This Year's Stages 'For the Kids' - Chick-Fil-A Restroom For Customers Only - Black and White Breaks Own Comparison Record

March 27, 2002 - MAX Introduces Crime Stops - Birminghamster’s Printing-Press Repaired - Kathryn Tucker Windham Uses School Tour to Scout Future Hauntings

January 16, 2002 - Siegelman Unveils Alabama Commemorative Quarter Design - Conjunction Crews Rush to Junction - $160 Million for Education Found in Sofa

January 2, 2002 - Milk and Bread Truck to Combat Severe Winter Weather Shortages - Jewish Family Unsure When To Undecorate - Trade Refused At Roger's Trading Company

November 21, 2001 - Southern Progress Announces Southern Innovation Center - Eli Gold Develops TV Radio - No Resolution in Sight for Kashmir Dispute

Iron Bowl Special - West End Child Has Crimson Tide Sixth Sense - Old Tape Contains Copy of Mark and Brian's 'My Bo' - Bobby Lowder To Sue SEC Unless Auburn Declared 'Super Terrific Champs Of All-Time'

November 7, 2001 - 31% Of Auburn Fans Spell School Name 'Aubrun' - Parisian to Close Pakistan Location - Krispy Kreme Announces Doughnut Paging System

October 10, 2001 - Ghost of Bear Turns Tide Against PSU, FSU - New Calvin Sticker Takes Talladega By Storm - Local Haunted House Overpriced, Underscary

September 26, 2001 - Franchione Agrees To Wrestle A Bear - Construction Begins On Arrington's Tomb - University Clubs Square off in First Annual 'Iron Cauldron' - Fund Set Up For Council Election Fees

August 29, 2001 - Local Man Unable To Redeem Turtle's Stamps - Quest Club Adds Third Privacy Fence - Southside Teen Sports Unpierced Nostril

August 1, 2001 - Cloning Ban Makes Bear Exception - Dot Com Failures Moving To Birmingham - Local Couple to Honeymoon at Tutwiler

July 18, 2001 - Joe Muggs Employee Enjoys Starbucks - Inglenook Residents To Open Competing Airport - Birmingham News To Add Secular Section

July 4, 2001 - Loyalist Enclave Discovered In North Birmingham - Rock 99 Prepares to Add 11th Song to Play List - Local Man Enjoys Women's Tennis and Beer

June 20, 2001 - Atlanta to Open First Franchise in Birmingham - Survivor Coming To Birmingham, Christian Style - Post Herald Editors Issued Speak & Spells

June 6, 2001 - Bizarro Arrington Promises to be Force for Good - Local White Teens Destroying Black Culture - Purity Of Essence Overcomes Powerhouse

May 23, 2001 - Beatle Bob Says This His Last City Stages - Wynonna's Toilet Requires Plunger - Local Man Bypasses Dippin' Dots - Stages Staff Still Searching For Runa Pacha

May 09, 2001 - Sally Struthers Joins Forces With Birmingham City Schools - PETA To Provide Sex Education To Local Deer - UAB Solves Proration Problem

April 25, 2001 - Doping Scandal Taints Bruno's Classic - NASCAR Fans Split Over Pissing, Praying Calvin - Mountain Brook Passes 'Retard' Tax

April 11, 2001 - City Council To Sell Cars - McDonald's Offers Special On McNuggets - Symphony Listens To Nancy Raabe

March 28, 2001 - Vestavia Girl Actually Expected to Drive Dodge - Conflagration Consumes Liberty Park - God Gives Pork Thumbs Up

March 14, 2001 - Science Center Places Birmingham Cityhood In Doubt - Local Worker Overworked - New Pizza Hut in Vestavia to Anchor Economic Boom

February 28, 2001 - Bold, Mulleted Rookie Plans To Replace NASCAR Legend - Bessemer Native Takes Talents on the Road

February 14, 2001 - Unlucky in Love, Local Man Harnesses 'Old School' Technology - Street In North Birmingham Paved - Auburn Set to Add Unprecedented Fourth Nickname

January 31, 2001 - Celine Dion Gives Birth To Song - Arrington Jr. Blvd. Renamed 21st Street - Forest Park MLS Listing Causes Confusion, Concern

January 17, 2001 - Che Named New Vestavia Rebel - Do Dah Organizers Hack Stages Web Site - Local Woman Believes She May Be In Gay Bar - UAB Photography Student Discovers Sloss Furnaces - Local Man Buys Jesus Movie At Garage Sale - Location Secret To Mill's Success

January 3, 2001 - UAB Photography Student Discovers Sloss Furnaces - Local Man Buys Jesus Movie At Garage Sale - Location Secret To Mill's Success

December 20, 2000 - Kids Caught Playing In Local Park - Local Couple Leaves Messiah To Go Have Sex - Kincaid Plush Toy In Short Supply

December 6, 2000 - Dawson Violates Non-Agression Pact, Invades Edgewood - RAPS Plan May Finally Be Ready - New Alabama Coach Once Had Lunch With Bear

November 22, 2000 - Scrushy Puts on Pants Two Legs at a Time - Jell-O to Perform Testing at Bell Bottoms - McCalla Man Files Suit Over Ballot Confusion

November 08, 2000 - Quiet Day in the Middle East, North Birmingham - Progressive Dinner Turns Tragic - Roger Clemens an Inspiration to Phenix City Parents

October 25, 2000 - Barbecue Pollution Pushes Birmingham into Purple Two Days in a Row - Presence of God Felt During Football Game as Vestavia Hills Trounces West End 41-7 - Larry to Join Russ and Dee on the Fine-Line

October 11, 2000 - London Press Deems Birmingham 'Football Capital of the West Midlands' - Judge Roy Moore Attains Bible Belt - Alabama Power to Tap Nervous Energy

September 27, 2000 - Southern Women's Show Now Featuring Men - Satan Bails on Contract With Dubose - Sidewalk Festival to Show Moving Pictures

August 30, 2000 - WRAX Hasn't Played That Creed Song in Like Ten Minutes - Richard Arrington to Open Title Pawn Shop in North Birmingham - Driver Encounters Three Other SUV's at Four Way Stop

August 16, 2000 - Insurance Company Provides Risk® Solutions - Birmingham Steel to Outsource Steel Making - Baptist Minister Admits Women May Indeed Have Souls

August 2, 2000 - Julie from Real World Now Selling Bagels - UA Athletic Department Snubbed By Slogan - Injunction Shuts Down Birmingham Site

July 19, 2000 - Archictecture Now Available from Dispenser on Southside - Scrushy to Auction X-men Collection - Emotional Baggage Unclaimed

July 5, 2000 - Still Hosing Off Pretension Two Weeks Later - Vandals Strike Vulcan - Carver High Could Use Some Work

June 21, 2000 - Kincaid to Perform Reenactment - White Guy Proud of City Stages Record - Bar Set Too High

June 7, 2000 - State to Get Education Lottery - Gyro Named City's Official Sandwich - Two for Tuesday Cuts Playlist in Half

May 24, 2000 - City to Get Half Dome - Gap to Film Ad on Southside - Krispy Kreme Box Torn Up

May 10, 2000 - Local Resident Feels Unloved - Diner Receives Some Inside with Outside Meat - Mayor, James Brown to Hold Stages Summit - Local Resident Imagines Himself Art Director